Photographer, Educator, Student, Mother & Wife Obsessed with sharing moments through pictures & words
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong If you haven’t heard, this really sucks. Last night Gian Carlo Brand visited briefly. We chatted […]
Sending you all lots of love and hugs x
Amanda, you have a beautiful family. I am glad you have each other. Seems like you are all fighters, and I look forward to meeting you after these trials are over. Sending you and yours lots of prayers.
My favorite picture is the one right above the crying one… with the puckered lips. Love it!
I hope you get to escape from the “joint” soon. I remember those days… no fun.
Were still here, praying for you all.
“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” ~Lord Byron As many of you have been reading my blog and staying updated through twitter, facebook and flickr then you’re likely aware that I have been readmitted into the hospital. Total bummer, but we suspected it might happen when the medication […]
by Amanda Kern
5 comments
Sending you all the love and strength the world has to offer. Most of us can not even imagine what you are going through, but I know you are a fighter, even though you feel very weak right now, I know you will come out of this stronger than ever. So rest my friend, and soon that fighter will be right back up on her feet. Much love to you and your family.
I will continue to pray and I am thinking of you and your family all day long every day, Evan prays for Chance every night before dinner out loud, it’s beautiful, God is listening.
Oh I should not have read this at work I’m in tears wishing I could be there at this moment to help in someway. I know the feeling of helplessness from when justice was in the NICU and Although our experience doesn’t even touch the surface as how hard your experience is. I have prayed for you guys everyday several times aday that all will be ok. You are blessed beyond measure to have the family you do, and yes I believe God won’t give you more than you will handle but sometimes it feels as if your plate is overflowing with trials and saddness. He sees how strong you are just as we all do you and Jason are nothing short of awe inspiring to me. I love you guys more than any words I have or will be able to express. I admire how you guys have held eachother through it all I admire how strong all three of kids are and it’s because of you two they are that strong! So it’s ok I will keep praying u just rest. Love you
Amanda,
The beautiful thing about God is that He is our Father. Curl up into His arms and rest. He knows your heart, He hears your cries, and He hears the prayers of those who are holding up you and your families’ arms when you are at the point of utter exhaustion. Rest. And know that you are loved.
Blessings,
Melissa
Rest is good…”He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty…He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust.” Psalm 91:1,4.
I can’t say that I know what you’re going through, Amanda, because I don’t. I know it must be excruciatingly difficult, and I imagine you are bone weary from striving to hold onto your faith. Just know this-God knows your heart. He heard your cry the first time it was uttered, and it’s OK to just rest now. I can just see Him, like the beautiful picture from Psalm 91, taking you under this pure white wing, and drawing you close to His heart of love, and saying, “It’s OK, sweetheart, I’ve got everything covered…”
We may never know, here on earth, all the reasons why God allows such painful things to come upon us. God knows, I have asked Him thousands of times why He allowed Mama and Daddy to die so young. I have an answer or two, but even knowing a small portion of God’s plan isn’t enough to take away all the pain and doubts.
Rest, dear Amanda. Cease the striving and just rest… Your spirit will be refreshed. Perhaps to fight another battle, perhaps to celebrate a new victory-who knows? Only God. But I see you when I read Habbakuk 3:17-19:
Although the fig tree shall not blossom,
Neither shall fruit be on the vine;
The labor of the olive shall fail,
And the fields shall yield no meat;
The flock shall be cut off from the fold,
And there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He will make my feet like hinds’ feet,
And He will make me to walk upon mine high places.
And about the praying…you have the most powerful Intercessor of all, never ceasing to make intercession on your behalf! So rest, rest and know that God is.
He is:
Jehovah El Shaddai-God almighty, God all sufficient
Jehovah Jireh-God our provider
Jehovah Rapha-God who heals
Jehovah Shalom-God our peace
Jehovah Shammah-God is there
Jehovah Abir-God is strong
Jehovah El Roi-God who sees
Jehovah Palet-God our deliverer
Jehovah Yeshua-God our savior
Jehovah Eyaluth-God our strength
Jehovah El Berith-God of the covenant
Jehovah T’Sur-God is our rock of defense and shelter
Just to name a few!
Father God, I ask You to take sweet Amanda under Your wing and give her sweet rest. I ask that you bring her comfort in her spirit, and healing to her body. I ask, Lord, that you give her peace in the middle of this storm, and faith to take that next step. I pray, Lord, that You will do as Your word says and encamp around this family who loves you. I ask that you send holy, ministering angels to each person in this family to bring to them the healing and strength that they need to continue. I pray most of all, Lord, for Your peace to settle upon their hearts-the peace that passes all understanding. I thank you, Lord, for the light that shines from Amanda as she shares her life and her heart with all of us. May her testimony of Your love and grace touch hearts that are filled with fear, and give them hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I love you, Amanda. I may stay in the background, quiet, and unobserved, but I follow your story and pray for you often. Maybe someday we’ll have the opportunity to connect and get to know one another. Until then, please know that I am praying, praying, praying….
Aunt Becky
“That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” –Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Since […]
by Amanda Kern
6 comments
Amanda,
Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers today and in the upcoming weeks. Please keep us posted. Even though we have never met, I think all mothers can relate to what you are feeling and going though. I can only imagine. Big virtual love to you and yours,
-K
Amanda,
I have so been there! Hoping he would be the one that didn’t need the shunt. And even though in your heart you know he likely would, and you know it’s better when he’s in the hospital than to come back. It doesn’t really make you feel any better when the shunt day happens.
Hopefully this will mean one more step to coming home.
I know his shunt looks so noticalbe to you. But where is it? Is it behind his ear or above his temple? When my Nick had his – they shaved the whole area. It was all I could see for months!
The pictures of him looking at you with the respirator in his mouth is heartbreaking! I can only imagine how you felt!
I know you have facebook and baby center, but if you ever need anyone else – I’m just an email away.
Dear Amanda and Jason
My prayers are with all of you. Chance looks wonderful. Rest when you can and thank you for sharing. God Bless you all.
We continue to pray for Chance, his sweet mom and dad, and brother and sister.
My brother was born with hydrocephalus and had a shunt in place when he was just hours old. He is now 21 years old and he just finished college. He is an inspiration!
God has big plans for your little fighter. Chance is absolutely beautiful. My husband and I were just admiring his pictures. I love his cheeks!
Blessings,
Melissa
These photos are beyond amazing Amanda. You and your family and Chance are a real inspiration for me. I will continue praying for all of you.
Hi Amanda,
I know that all of us who have had babies born with SB wish SO hard that ours will be one of the 10% that don’t need the shunt. Elizabeth was able to go 1.5 weeks until we got the news. The shunt is a hard thing to stomach….but, on a positive note….those babies born 30-40 years ago didn’t have the opportunity to have a shunt and the first shunts were not programmable….technology has come so far. Hang in there and take care of yourself. You need to be healthy and strong to take care of your handsome little boy…let the hospital take care of him and yourself. It all seems so long and overwhelming now, but it WILL become a memory and a story one day (a well documented one at that!)
You are in my prayers.
Melanie
“In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.” ~ Charlie Brown Today Chance turned one week old. He spent his one week birthday in a new room in pod 8 in the NICU. He’s now in a crib still sleeping on his belly. We arrived this morning to greet my baby boy […]
by Amanda Kern
3 comments
these images are beautiful and inspired by so much love.
I hope you start feeling better soon. I know it is so so hard to be away from Chance, but you have to take care of yourself as well. Remember you are recoverying from major abdominal surgery (and I know you know) not something to be taken lightly.
Sorry that’s the nurse in me coming out!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your pictures, as usual. The one of your husband through the bars of the crib. That just about sums it all up.
I’m wondering if the nurses will be able to play a tape recording of your voice, reading a book or something? It might help at those times you can’t be there.
I’ve been thinking of you and Chance this week!
I love CS Lewis & i’m posting that quote.
I hope I can come visit you all soon, not sure where everyone will be early next week, but I’ll call you! x
“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt If you’ve been following me in facebook, twitter, or flickr you’ve probably seen updates since my last blog post. I realize it’s been several days since my last update and now that I’m home I figured […]
by Amanda Kern
8 comments
I know it seems huge now, but it’s just a blip in the big picture, Amanda. Lord be with you all as you journey though this difficult time…
Exactly one year ago, hudson was in the nicu and I remember how hard it was leaving him each day and counting down the days till we got to bring him home. it was an extremely hard month for us, an emotional roller coaster for sure, and we didn’t even have the added concerns of surgery and recovery. I pray that chance will heal quickly and you get to take that sweet boy home very soon.
awwwwwww so precious! he is such a cute little guy! congratulations to you and your family and welcome Chance!!
awesome. i’m amazed by how focused, alert and mesmerized by his daddy chance is! 
*tears* praying for you and that perfect baby!
He is just so beautiful Amanda. I know it’s hard not being together right now but he will be home soon. You have been blessed with this precious little boy. I assure you he will continue to amaze and impress you with all that he will accomplish. His back looks great and I’m confident will heal very nicely. My daughters opening was quite large and she was (is) very tiny and it’s healed beautifully.
We will be praying the Chance continues to heal and that you will all be home as a family as you should be.
amanda
i have a three year old with sb and i followed your story on babycenter. your little boy is adorable. i feel your pain that this is not how the birth of your child should be. you should not have to think of the nicu, back scars, numerous doctors etc…but this will pass and life will be more normal then you ever thought it would be. it is ok to feel these feelings and i wanted to validate them for you.
however, you are going to experience so much joy over the little things that people take for granted that your little boy will do. it is a joy and a sense of pride that i have never experienced in my entire life. your photos are absolutley incredible. i will continue to pray for your peace of mind and the health of your baby. sincerely, monica
Please, I MUST have that photo that Gian Carlo took-his fatty cutie face so close up. I would love to have it on my iphone as a reminder for strength. Chance is such a fighter!
These photographs are beautiful and you are doing extraordinarily well emotionally Amanda.
by Amanda Kern
3 comments