A few more priceless moments

“There is a quiet place somewhere beyond tomorrow where your heart will find peace and the mists of troubles will begin to clear away.” ~Unknown

We made it another week at home with no returns to the hospital. Yes, things might finally be settling down. Though I miss many moments from the moments after Chance was born I definitely don’t miss the whirlwind of trying medical moments he and I faced over a month ago. I’ve come to accept I can’t keep him tiny forever, but I certainly continue to try to photograph him more hoping to embrace these moments with my little man.

As if I haven’t said it enough, I absolutely love flickr. I use it regularly to share photos but it’s been a great way for me to learn more about photography, connect with other photographers, and get inspired creatively. A couple months ago I connected with a fellow photographer, Dee Baughman, who makes the most adorable baby hats. I expressed an interest in ordering hats from her for my photography of Chance and before he arrived we planned out some super cute hats for him, like this one he wore last week when he was 5 weeks old.

Yes, we live in Florida and it’s pretty darn hot here, but I still had to torture my little guy with an adorable wintery looking hat because, well, he just looks so darn cute in this precious hat. I think Chance must agree.

Okay, he’s 5 weeks old here so he woke up easily and gave me the look…you know…the look like he’s thinking “Mom what in the world do you have me wearing?”

Ah, but he was still sleepy and we worked a bit more to take a few more shots, like this one.

Hope has been an amazing helper. She’s got to be the best big sister. Ever. As I was attempting to juggle a few things one evening this past week Hope offered to help with Chance when he was a bit fussy. Usually when he’s fussy I hesitate because he is a little more challenging to keep content and I’m not so sure how well Hope will do if he gets to his super fussy moments. But I gave her an opportunity to help out and she did amazing. Chance cuddled right up with his big sister and fell right to sleep!

I also collaborated with Dee on having her make a custom panda bear hat. Yes, those that know me know that pandas are just a tad bit special to our family. Though I remember growing up being teased because “panda” rhymed with my name, it wasn’t until I was much older when some of my closest friends and family helped remind me how pandas would grow to be something I hold so close to my heart. Now after all my troubles conceiving and miscarrying over the years I sometimes wonder if maybe I really am part panda, because that’s definitely something I have in common with them. Yes, I suppose like panda bears my little ones are highly valued because we went through so many challenges for every single one of them to be here.

Unfortunately it took a ton more work to get photos of Chance in a panda bear hat. Actually 4 attempts spanning over two days. I made the mistake of trying to take photos of him in it for the first time on April fool’s day. As you’ll see shortly he made me look like the fool.He started out wide awake and very alert but not so thrilled to take the photos I envisioned. It’s definitely not easy to photograph a squirmy baby in an adorable hat. We spent far more time adjusting his hat than taking photos.

Then Chance let me know he had enough. Yes, just over five weeks old and this kid gives me the finger. Perhaps he just didn’t want to be photographed in the hat or maybe he’s had enough of me torturing him with photos since the day he was born. Okay, years from now I know this is the photo he’ll think is hilarious because something tells me he might get a little embarrassed to see himself in a panda hat by the time he’s a teenager.

Thankfully a little later he rested for me in his panda hat.

The very next day we tried again. Once again he was awake.

Later in the day he seemed to be in a content sleepy mood so I tried again. Though he sleeps well still these days he does startle and wake up a lot easier and when he does usually that leads to him being a bit more fussy and is much more work to get him into position. But thankfully it didn’t take too long.

You’ve got to admit, he’s one cute panda baby.

He was finally sleeping so soundly that I was able to get close enough to photograph his sweet little lips for the first time since he was in the NICU.

Later that same afternoon the kids were absolutely priceless. Chance was awake and alert and so I Hope & Jaylen spend some time with him on our bed. Hope of course elected to hold him more.

Of course Jaylen is in love with his little brother. He’s constantly coming over to point out his ears, toes, or to just touch him.

Before Chance was born I recall wishing I could keep Jaylen little for longer. It seems like the moment I got home from the hospital he grew considerably. He now talks so much more. Thankfully he’s finally officially potty trained. Yes, he’s officially not the baby any longer…and proudly proclaims himself to be a big boy.

Yes, he’s the “big brother” in the house.

You know things are gradually getting back to normal when we were all able to escape the house for the first time so that the kids could have a bit of fun playing putt putt golf.

Jaylen told us early on that he would be the “winner”.

I’m sure before I know it Chance will be playing things like this with the kids…but for now he’s clung to me in the bjorn when we make it out of the house. This was one of his first trips out in the bjorn…one of many trips he’ll takes in the bjorn in the first year or so. He was alert and enjoyed the trip in the beginning but quickly dozed off and we managed to make it through all 18 holes of putt putt without him making a peep. Yes, that makes me one happy Momma.

Needless to say we’re thankful things have settled down considerably and we pray they stay that way. I have to admit that with Chance having spina bifida I am left with him nearly 6 weeks old still worrying and wondering what else might happen, but for now we’re trying to remain content and feeling blessed with all the moments we get to experience. We have had a lot of people ask us what challenges Chance will be faced with and right now it’s still too soon to tell how much his spina bifida will affect him. For now we’ve been reassured by all the doctors that he should be treated like any baby his age, thankfully he has no additional medical needs thus far. His back is healing well and if all goes as planned he should get to have his stitches taken out this week. Our fingers are crossed that the next few months will be filled with less medical moments and more normal moments until he has his first appointment with the spina bifida clinic in August.