I find myself awake once again in the midst of the night while most others are resting and while I’m left just a few hours before surgery wondering so much still. There’s a part of me that feels as though this is some awful dream that I just wish I’d wake up from. A part […]
Yearly Archives: 2009
October 5, 2009 - 5:37 am
Will keep you and your family in prayer.
Our human minds cannot comprehend the reasoning of this, but there is hope Amanda! I am amazed at your willingness to keep on despite circumstances, if you/your family need anything feel free to let me know.
Check out the song Shadows by David Crowder Band should help out too. “Life is full of light and shadows, oh the joy and oh the sorrow…”
Wishing you find the peace that passes all understanding,
sean
October 5, 2009 - 9:48 am
Oh, Amanda…sweet niece that I don’t even know…I am so grieved to know you are going through this. I offer the only thing I know…
Dear Father, receive this beautiful child into Your loving arms, embrace it with love so pure it that will bring life and joy and peace. Wrap these same arms of love around Amanda, bring comfort where there seems no possibility of being comforted, and peace, and healing from the pain. Bless her, Lord, with the knowing that You are there, that You will never leave her, and that Your strength is made perfect in her time of weakness. May she rest and find solace in the warmth of your bosom. Bless her, and her entire family, Lord, with Your love. In the name of the only one who is able, Jesus.
October 5, 2009 - 11:49 am
Dear Amanda,
Your sweet words so touched my heart. I pray that God will give you His peace and that he will take aways the pain of loss that is so heavy upon you right now. Please take comfort in the knowledge that the sweet little one you carried knew he/she was loved totally by his sweet Mom. Allow yourself to be weak – we Cumbie women think we have to be strong all the time but we don’t. Lean on God tell Him that you are hurting beyond belief and allow Him to hold you in His loving arms.
October 5, 2009 - 6:36 pm
oh how i hate to cryand i am and i hate it i cant imagine the pain but i know that if god leads you to it he will lead you through it every time i find myself overcome with feels like i cant get through whatever situation that is making my life hard i hold on to that and know that it is the lords will and though i maY not know why i have to trust in him and amanda you know im not a bible thimper by any means but i know and do believe that god has the answers even if we can hear them all the time i love you so much and i know there have been times where i havent been a great sister to you but i love you and your family so much!!!
September 11, 2024 - 8:07 pm
Truly when simeone doesn’t understand aftr that itss upp to other users that they will assist, so heree iit happens.
I find myself so thankful that this weekend is nearing an end and that soon we may move past these moments that I would prefer to erase from my memory. The one thing that has helped this weekend is all the support from everyone, but mostly from my immediate family. Yesterday Hope brought me this […]
by Amanda Kern
6 comments
October 4, 2009 - 8:17 pm
<3 u amanda! we'll be thinking of you!
October 4, 2009 - 11:54 pm
awwwwww. I read a portion of your post on facebook and started to worry… I am so sorry Amanda… hang in there and please stay strong. You are such a good person. I hope things look better for you soon. <3
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I found myself this morning desperately hoping to pass time by catching up on editing over a week’s worth of 365 photos. I’ve somehow managed to keep up with this project for this long that I haven’t let this hurdle of this pregnancy, and now it’s loss, to keep me from allowing 365 be something […]
by Amanda Kern
54 comments
October 5, 2009 - 9:50 am
I am in tears right now as I reply to you…I can’t begin to write even half of what you have put together in … wow a wonderful self expression of feelings. I can say I have been where you are now, but without the courage to tell anyone. Just know even thought we are not super close if you need a shoulder I am here for you.
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The last few weeks I’ve been keeping a pretty big secret from everyone in hopes to have shared great news today that our family was expecting our third child. However, after going to the doctor for the fourth time in just over two weeks it was confirmed today that the baby that I’ve been carrying […]
by Amanda Kern
23 comments
October 2, 2009 - 6:00 pm
I have typed and deleted so many times now. I was conflicted about calling you earlier when I heard. I am soo sorry. I didn’t want to burden you with another call as I can only imagine like you said that space is the only thing you need right now. I just wanted to let you know that my heart is with you right now and although I’m not really much of the praying type I will say one now for you and everyone else in the house.
October 2, 2009 - 6:01 pm
oh amanda i am so sorry to hear that i know what you have been through and i love you more than i have probably ever shown it i wish that my words could find you some comfort however i know that is probably not the case. Please know that you and Jason and dear sweet Hope are in my prayers (i know jaylen is prob too young to realize) I know that you probably wouldnt think to but if you do ever need me im here i love you guys and squeeze Hope for me love you sis!
October 2, 2009 - 6:02 pm
Oh and i know i told you before but i feel the need to tell you again I LOVE YOU GUYS!
October 2, 2009 - 6:12 pm
So very sorry to hear of your loss…
The last words my brother said to me were “keep the faith”. I keep those words very close to me and they have reminded and sustained me through a lot of very difficult times in the last several years. I know your faith will carry you through these difficult times ahead as well.
Please know that I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers and in his healing light in hopes that you find peace soon.
God bless you all.
October 2, 2009 - 6:48 pm
i’m so sorry 
i really don’t know what else to say, other than the years i’ve come to know you, you ARE a strong woman and no words can describe your pain but you do have a lot of people that truly do care ::hugs::
October 2, 2009 - 7:21 pm
You know you’ve become like another daughter to me, Amanda. So words can’t express how sad we are for you and your beautiful family. Keep the faith and remember you are loved. The hole is big right now but I know they – and maybe some of us too will help fill it a bit over time.
October 2, 2009 - 9:11 pm
I am so sorry!
I am sure this is so hard for you and I’m sad that you had to go through this. My prayers are with you and your family.
October 2, 2009 - 10:29 pm
your children and family are beautiful, and we see their beauty through your eyes in your pictures. the photo of you and Hope comforting each other speaks volumes. be well. my heart goes out to you.
October 2, 2009 - 10:58 pm
There aren’t words to adequately express what your family will be enduring in the days to come. You are an amazing, gifted, strong woman. God has blessed you with a beautiful spirit, a generous heart, and a beautiful family as shown through your dear husband, Hope and Jayden. You more than anyone understand what a precious gift your family is. As I will respect your wishes not to ask or speak of this most grievous pain, please know that you will be in the heartfelt prayers of my family in the weeks to come and that if you should need anything you need only ask and I’ll be there. There is healing in tears and allowing yourself this time to grieve.
Cry like pouring rain when sadness takes you over.
Instead of straining to keep a facade of peace,
Cry alone until tears run dry…
Cry, cry and cry…
Tears are there to protect your heart.
When tears finally run dry, your heart will be calm and quiet.
Feeling clear inside,
You will be left with the transpicuous sense of being blessed with life.
So, look for beautiful things around you,
And you will find a hope, a hope to move on and remember that you are blessed.
October 3, 2009 - 4:47 am
Amanda ~ no words from anyone can stop you and your family’s sorrow. So we won’t try to tell you anything. Just know that you all are encircled with love, support and prayers from so many. We are all around you now; feel it and draw strength from it. We gladly give it. Love always, Rick and Barbara
October 3, 2009 - 11:49 am
Stay strong A!
We’ll be here when you need us.
HUGS
October 3, 2009 - 3:31 pm
I am sorry for your loss. We, too had two miscarriages before I gave birth to my kids and I understand how painful it can be.
October 3, 2009 - 7:50 pm
I am so sorry. I know there is not anything I can say to take away your pain, but I pray that you and your family experience God’s peace and comfort and hope during this time.
October 4, 2009 - 2:34 am
Amanda, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I know that many of my close friends are trying without success… but they can’t give up. God has a purpose for each of us. I wish your family much happiness and comfort.
October 4, 2009 - 11:26 am
Amanda, I knew you would express your feelings with writing and photography. It is a gift and talent God gave you and as you can tell, we all appreciate you letting us in that way. I can only say that I love you all and will be there in any way that you need me. I am so proud of you and Jason. You are beautiful parents. And Hope is such a great big sister. I don’t know why this would happen to you again, but I know that only God could love that baby more. It’s as you said, “Our loss is Heaven’s gain”. I told Hope the baby was a tiny little angel that will be flickering around, watching over you all now. Keep your hearts open. You are surrounded by love.
October 4, 2009 - 2:20 pm
You must be blessed to have such good and precious children as well as those who were too good to be put on this earth. I wish your family well as you move through these trying times.
October 4, 2009 - 2:50 pm
I can’t even begin to understand the pain you must feel. The strength you must have is amazing. You clearly have great support on earth and in heaven. My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family.
October 4, 2009 - 10:27 pm
Sending you love and strength…. x
October 5, 2009 - 1:09 am
I am so sorry to learn this. I wish there was something to say or do to remove this hurt from your heart… or the tears from my eyes. I can’t find words strong enough to satisfy myself, let alone you. Honestly, i don’t think think such words exist. I would like for you to know that at the very least, I am aware and I care. Please continue to be strong.
October 5, 2009 - 1:25 pm
Amanda,Jason,Hope and Jayden God Bless you.
October 5, 2009 - 5:17 pm
Hi ma’am,
I’m sorry about your loss, but always remember that there is a God looking over us, and He sometimes allows his children go through certain experiences, so that they can grow stronger. God will not fail you, have faith, because He has faith in you. Seek the Lord and everything else will come added. May God Bless you and your home.
June 12, 2014 - 9:37 am
Amanda,
I just found your blog and this post and can barely find the words to thank you. I miscarried on Monday and your words have helped me and brought me so much hope for the future. Thank you for having the courage to tell your story and know that five years later it is still doing so much good.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
July 18, 2015 - 5:50 pm
I just found your post and wanted to say how much I appreciated your story. I just had a miscarriage at 15 weeks and it’s the most devastating pain I have felt. I have always been a compassionate person but I understand compassion on a completely different level now. I have a strong faith in God and absolutely loved your quote. I’m so sorry for your many losses – this is my second loss and the pain doesn’t get any easier.
All weekend Hope could hardly contain her excitement as she counted down the beginning of the school year. Last night she was sure to remind me that there’d be just a few more hours until she started second grade and that next year she’d be in third grade. I reminded her not to rush growing […]
by Amanda Kern
1 comment
August 24, 2009 - 8:28 pm
Awwww, how touching.
by Amanda Kern
5 comments