Finally, I’m home.

“Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.” -Saint Bertholomew

Today I returned home from my weekend stay at the hospital. As my spirits are lifted finally able to write to update you all from the comfort of my own home, I share with you all a little from my last day in the hospital and the wonderful memories as I returned home today. Just a few more little things to mention about my time in the hospital.

  • Last night was by far the most challenging. I’m convinced that being on 3 antibiotics, estrogen supplements, darvocet, motrin, and zofran finally took it’s toll on me. At times I became very nauseated, dizzy, and lightheaded. It really truly scared me last night – to the point I even called the nurse very concerned. Thankfully I manged to get some rest, though not as much as I probably should have.
  • I’m convinced the medicine definitely influenced so many dreams over the weekend. Many I don’t remember the details of, but I recall waking up a number of times, even last night, either startled or realizing some big things I needed to do.
  • One of my dreams last night made me realize that because of all these experiences I finally felt the strength within me to volunteer with the Now I Lay me to Sleep photography organization. For those that have never heard of it this was taken directly from their web site to help you understand how much my heart wants to give to those who just like me, are challenged with a baby that may have challenges after birth or that have lost a special child they’ll never come to know:“The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation gently provides a helping hand and a healing heart. For families overcome by grief and pain, the idea of photographing their baby may not immediately occur to them. Offering gentle and beautiful photography services in a compassionate and sensitive manner is the heart of this organization. The soft, gentle heirloom photographs of these beautiful babies are an important part of the healing process. They allow families to honor and cherish their babies, and share the spirits of their lives.” It’s something I’ve considered for over a year, and finally through these recent experiences I am compelled to volunteer to help others who have also endured similar struggles as I am currently going through. I am pleased to say that today I was contacted by one of the organizations coordinators and they were impressed with my photography. Once I provide more examples of photography using artificial light sources I will likely be approved to volunteer. This is a big achievement for me, especially knowing how thoroughly this organization reviews and selects it’s photographers.
  • I was thrilled that my final nurse was also a Valencia grad. Yes, I’m a very proud Valencia alumni and now Professor. I will be writing Winnie Palmer hospital in the near future to make sure they know just how awesome these ladies were who cared for me. It was a very challenging and scary moment in my life and they all put my heart and mind at ease as I endured so many medical challenges.
  • I was so thankful once arriving home to take my first shower in three days. Because of my IV I couldn’t shower because they were concerned that if they disconnected the IV from the port that it could possibly close up. If that would have happened I would have had to have another IV put in, which given all the surgeries and my low blood pressure it would have been a challenge. So the moment I arrived home I hopped in the shower and I have to say that it was the best shower I’ve taken since my time in the military after returning from deployments or the field missions.

This morning at sunrise I was up and ready to take a few photos. I’m currently in a photography course at SCAD and I’ve had a project that I’ve been trying so hard to complete. Every time I begin to follow through with my ideas I’d end up back in the hospital. The project is to create two separate photos (a montage and collage) to visually represent a “sense of place” for where we live. I had brainstormed so many ideas related to my thoughts of central Florida but once I learned I’d be admitted into the hospital and seeing my view from my hospital room I decided for part of my project I would use my hospital room as the setting for my photo. I am not complete with my photo assignment at all, but I thought I’d share several of the photos from the morning. I set up my tripod to be able to do almost  a type of time lapse photos where I could possibly montage separate images of me together into one. Of course I still enjoy most of these images separately, which is how I will share them for now on my blog. As I post them I hope you enjoy a few more thoughts that accompany the moments I was in the hospital.

It was a foggy morning, which certainly set the mood for how I’ve felt these last few weeks. I spent a lot of time in the room this weekend just realizing how much my life has changed in less than a month.

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Right now I have such positive spirits that I am so close to finally recovering from this mess. I do know that the emotional impact of this loss and all the events that have happened the last few weeks will likely affect me for some time to come. I know now is the time to begin to “move on”, but to be honest that isn’t as easy to do as you all might think.

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I still plan to find a way to return to finding time to be silly again. Hopefully more fun memories make their way into my life soon. This morning I just had to be silly for a moment because I was pretty happy to know I was so close to going home.

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I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about not just this loss and all the recent challenges but also about all those I truly care about and have come to appreciate. I still feel so guilty that there are many of you that Jason or I never found time or energy to call personally. We hope you all know just how challenging these events have been and that it was never our intent to hurt any of you by neglecting to share this news. Hopefully through these recent events you have are reminded to check my blog a little more often to stay updated with how we are all doing. I can’t promise I’ll write as often as I have been, but I do plan to be more proactive than I have been the last couple of years.

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I spent a lot of time in the hospital on my computer. I’m convinced it’s helped keep my spirits lifted as it allowed me to keep you all updated through facebook, twitter, and my blog. I thank all of you who corresponded with me over the weekend. I am still so touched by everyone’s concern.

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This was one weekend where Jason didn’t oppose me on the computer so much. Staying so connected through these tough moments definitely kept my spirits lifted and helped time pass a little faster. If I didn’t have my computer I fear knowing how isolated I likely would have felt.

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While I was taking pictures, Jason called from home. I told him the good news that it was time for me to go home. It made my day to hear how excited he was to learn he could bring me home.

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Once I learned the doctor said I could be discharged the nurse came to disconnect my IV. It was definitely one of the happiest moments of the day. I finally began to feel “freed”.

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As we waited for the nurse to finalize all my discharge paperwork I changed into my clothes and then told Jason I wanted to take a few photos with him. Today on the way home Jason and I talked about how October 2009 was the worst month of our marriage because of how many bad things happened. I had to remind him that through all the bad moments, some good has happened. While we were waiting, and before we took photos, Jason dozed off so I went to give him a kiss and wake him up.

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As he woke up I told him that finally it’s time to go home.

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Once he woke up we took a few photos together. Seeing this photo helps remind me of just how much our relationship has grown in just a few weeks…our love for one another is stronger than it has ever been.

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I really thought it was cute that he was so willing to take pictures with me. Often times he does complain when I ask for him to take pictures saying “come on” or “are we done”. Today he was so sweet and happy just to know he was finally able to take me home. He was so cute trying to make me so happy today, which included coming to visit me with a goatie – that always makes me smile!

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Since our relationship began in the military we have never been too openly affectionate in public. I do blame that partly on the fact that we were not permitted to show affection in uniform. Though we’ve gotten better about it in the 12+ years we’ve been married, we still seldomly show affection publicly. I couldn’t help but smile as he gave me huge hugs as I was taking pictures, knowing I would at some point blog about today and share some of the photos I took today. Oh, how I love him.

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REUNITING WITH THE KIDS & SURPRISING HOPE
Today when I arrived home I couldn’t help but smile seeing my buddy Jaylen cuddling and sleeping with his Uncle Adam. From what I’ve heard, he and his Uncle Adam have become best buds. He seldomly goes to people he doesn’t know, but the moment Adam arrived Jaylen ran straight to him with open arms.

Before I left the hospital  I emailed Hope’s teacher early this morning. After being so concerned about how Hope was coping with all that has happened, I emailed her with my concerns and then also mentioned how I’d love to surprise her for lunch if I was released from the hospital in time. So once I arrived home we went to Panera to pick up lunch. Panera is Hope’s favorite place to eat since before she ever turned a year old. It’s one of the few places we’d go out to eat when she was so young while we were on a tight budget.

When we first arrived I stood waiting for Hope. Jason suggested I stand off to the side away from her initial view. As Hope came in the lunchroom she said “Daddy” and jumped right into his arms. I walked out and Jason turned her around and she saw me. Her face lit up to know I was finally home from the hospital. She shouted, “Mommy” and then ran to me and gave me the biggest hug ever, so big she wouldn’t let go for a good minute or two. All our eyes were watery eyed and so close to crying knowing how much it meant to Hope that I was finally home. It was the best surprise that definitely made her day! I thought it was cute that out of all the shirts she wore today she picked out a shirt she hadn’t worn in a long time. It said “so lucky to be me”. She told me later in the day as she pointed out what her shirt said that she felt so lucky to have me out of the hospital. I’m so happy that her spirits seem to finally be raising again.

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A LITTLE MORE RECOVERING TO DO

When I met with the doctor this morning she suggested I take the next week to stay home from work,  lay low and “take it easy”. She reminded me the importance of rest and that the treatment I received in the hospital should do the trick to help me recover finally. Of course after going through 3 repeat surgeries and then the recent stay in the hospital I am still concerned and wonder, “is it really almost over?” I expressed my concerns to the doctor and she said that so long as I have no further complication like a higher fever, excessive bleeding, or pain & cramping then I should begin to feel better this next week. This afternoon I have felt better. I took time to nap after feeling so fatigued. It was nice to finally sleep in my own bed. I did begin to feel concerned again as I ran a low grade fever of 99 this afternoon. However, that is still lower than they will worry about at this point. Yes, I worried a bit this afternoon, even missing have the care of my nurses to have there to conveniently ask questions when I was concerned. I’m also still taking the estrogen supplements for the next five days. It is being used to strengthen the lining of my uterus after all the surgeries. I’ve since learned that the side effects will likely leave me feeling cruddy a bit the next few days with dizziness, lightheadedness, headaches, nausea and more. So for now I will just continue to rest and watch myself closely this next week and pray that it’s time to turn to a new chapter in this life of mine.

Thank you all again for all your support.

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steroid transformation 3 Months - Chest dips primarily target the chest muscular tissues, shoulders,
and triceps. Dips present excessive intensity resistance to the chest muscular tissues, promoting
hypertrophy and improved muscular definition. Moreover, chest
dips have interaction the shoulder muscular tissues (particularly
the deltoids) and assist improve shoulder stability
and power. Moreover, performing chest dips help strengthen and tone the triceps, which enhances the overall aesthetics of the higher arms.
The single-arm cable press is a incredible train for concentrating on and isolating each side of your chest independently.

This is why you see a lot of people use the cable crossover machine for flys greater than dumbbells.
As these are more so accessory exercises, you’ll be able to change up your cable chest
workout routines weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, or as
you see fit. The cable chest press is superb if you can’t get your hands on dumbbells
or a bench throughout rush hours. When performing cable incline fly exercises, stand tall
with toes shoulder-width apart and seize the cables while preserving your palms dealing with each other.

Preserve a slight bend within the elbows as you increase both arms towards one another in entrance of your chest, making sure
to maintain management throughout the movement.
The two major chest workout routines you will do with
cables are presses and flys. However, there are numerous variations
for both cable presses and cable flys. Not only are they simpler on the joints (shoulders,
elbows and wrists), for the most part, you can even simply bail from any train. With that, you can prepare to failure with
cable machines and really get the most hypertrophy
and power benefits potential. Let’s go over the
two major variables for cable chest workouts so you
will note why we now have so many cable workouts for chest…

Return to the starting position under control and repeat for the specified number of reps.
You’ll really feel the distinction as cables force
each portion of your chest to work independently, carving out that sought-after separation between your collar bone and rib cage.
Picture chiseled traces across your chest – every cable motion brings you
nearer. Getting its name from the rhombus (quadrilateral shape) the rhomboids are comprised of two muscles; the rhomboid main and minor.
The major perform of the rhomboids is to aid in the motion of the scapula.

The workout begins with the bench press,
which lays a basis by working pretty much your complete chest.
The decline push-up is a variation of the regular push-up, in which you’ve placed your toes on an elevation. This makes the train heavier
and shifts more of the work in the path of your higher chest.

Depending on what variation you employ, you’ll find a way to goal every muscle in the chest by doing push-ups.
And whilst you almost actually know tips on how to do them,
here’s a fast how-to anyway. Whereas regular push-ups target the middle of your pecs, decline push-ups shift the emphasis to your decrease chest, a tough area to apply strain to.
Correct vitamin is an integral component of maximizing your chest
positive aspects. Consuming a balanced food plan that
consists of lean proteins, complex carbohydrates,
and healthy fat can improve muscle development and help in recovery
after intense exercises. Another way to progressively overload is by changing the angle of the pulleys or using different attachments to target completely different parts of the chest muscular tissues.
It’s necessary to note that with a complicated routine
comes a larger want for relaxation and recovery.

The Smith machine decline bench press eliminates some need for shoulder
stability during the exercise, permitting
the lifter to isolate the lower chest muscular tissues higher.
The decline cable chest press is a variation of the decline dumbbell bench press.
Throughout dumbbell incline bench presses, the resistance is immediately downward, and your triceps brachii take
over a lot of the drive from your chest on the prime of the press.
During the standing dumbbell fly, the hand, and arm transfer by way of an arc whereas the elbow stays at a continuing angle.

The angle of the adjustable bench on this variation puts more pressure in your
lower chest muscles than a flat bench press would.
The Incline Bench Press exercise focuses on the upper chest and helps build an enormous chest.

The incline angle also allows for higher activation of
the anterior deltoids (front shoulder muscles).

This is finished by adjusting the anchor
level of the resistance band to a lower position and pressing it
up. The solely attainable method to full this movement is with correct stability out of your feet up by way of to your head.

The shoulder faucet push-up is a variation of the push-up that challenges the core to a larger extent than its traditional counterpart.
Close grip push-ups may be challenging, so beginning with a modified version (knee
push-ups) is necessary if needed.
Working out your chest targets two major muscle groups,
the pectoralis main and the pectoralis minor. The
pectoralis main is the larger of the two and sits on prime of its smaller pectoralis minor counterpart.
Chest workout routines lengthen to focus on peripheral muscles such because the
serratus anterior, deltoids, and subclavius. Strengthening the peripheral chest muscular tissues is
necessary for stabilizing joints and larger muscle teams.

For instance, doing a single arm cable fly won’t solely work your chest muscles, but also your core muscles.

For optimum muscle activation and lowered danger of
damage, keep a gentle tempo and give consideration to respiratory rhythmically throughout each repetition. Pull
the handles together in front of you, focusing on squeezing your chest muscular tissues all through the motion.
Extend your arms totally in entrance of you while maintaining
control, then slowly return to the beginning position. Transitioning
from the Cable Incline Fly, let’s discover the Cable
Incline Fly on a stability ball.
Of all the shoulder workout routines, the lateral raise,
and its variations, is pretty much in our program consistently.
The upright row can construct some serious muscle within the entrance and
facet delts while also building your traps and rhomboids. In addition,
this pulling cable shoulder exercise can help a few
of your other lifts like deadlifts. We generally like
to carry out a bilateral fly as it tends to permit
a extra natural movement without any twisting. However, should you wanted to, you would
perform this in a unilateral fashion and prepare one
muscle at a time. Urgent up with such a close grip will focus the stress onto the front
delts, pecs, and triceps. This versatility merely makes it that a lot of
a greater train to hit all of your deltoids.
Resistance bands with handles or pulley techniques attached
to a door body can mimic the motion of cable workout routines and target the chest muscle
tissue effectively. Yes, cable chest workouts can be performed at
house with the best equipment. Cable machines are generally present in industrial gyms however there are also portable and inexpensive
choices for house use. While cable chest workouts could be an efficient addition to a workout routine,
they can not fully exchange traditional chest workouts.
Find solutions to those questions and extra in our complete FAQ part.

Free-weight shoulder workouts might help you build shoulder energy and muscle mass.
However, you want cable exercises for general improvement and constructing 3D shoulders.
As a result, you’re not just lifting weights; you’re sculpting your chest with precision that only cables
can present. With progressive overload and proper method, these exercises will assist rework your upper physique right
into a powerhouse of both form and functional capability.
But yet another research checked out chest activation throughout
flat, 30-degree incline, 45-degree incline, and 15-degree decline
barbell presses.
Attempt one day of performing a bench press with a barbell, then try the cable version. You will feel the distinction in how
the cables destroy your inside pecs – in one of the simplest ways.

Whereas the resistance from a barbell bench press is strictly towards gravity, the cable bench
press additionally requires you to withstand the handles pulling away from one another.
It’s top-of-the-line cable chest workout routines to finish
your session with and can depart you with an enormous pump.
Cable bench flys work your pectoralis major,
the higher a part of your chest. They additionally have interaction your biceps and deltoids, which stabilize the movement.

And a straightforward method to progress this train is
simply by utilizing bands with greater resistance as you get stronger.

Parallel bar dips enable for a larger vary of motion than many chest workout routines.
You should lean ahead somewhat than upright to train the lower chest effectively when performing dips.
Decline Cable fly is considered one of the most suitable exercises for isolating the decrease chest muscles.

Like flat dumbbell press, incline dumbbell press
allows you to increase the vary of motion you’d often use on barbell bench press.

In 2025, consciousness of damage charges from improper fly form has turn into increasingly important,
with research indicating that poor technique can lead to shoulder accidents.
By avoiding these frequent pitfalls, you probably can significantly scale back your risk of harm and effectively enhance your higher physique strength with a chest fly exercise.
Using the fly machine can help in developing lean body mass and
bone density, together with boosting your base metabolic rate.

To execute the Cable Incline Fly on a stability ball,
place your self together with your head and upper again resting in opposition to the soundness ball and toes firmly planted on the
ground. With a cable in every hand, lengthen your arms out to the perimeters
at shoulder level. Harnessing cables also encourages a
continuing tension on your chest all through the exercise.
This sustained load is crucial for igniting muscle fibers throughout their entire size – from collar bone to sternum.
This means your pec major and anterior deltoids are working additional time even at the peak
of each movement.
The cable reverse fly is a traditional shoulder exercise to focus on the rear delt.
It allows maximal vary of motion whereas concentrating on your rear
shoulder while your complete higher back is concerned.
By being on your knees, you’ll be able to’t rely on your legs in any respect to press the
burden overhead.
In conclusion, these cable exercises offer a versatile and efficient approach to goal your chest muscular tissues.

They are practical, straightforward to implement, and efficient for anybody trying to strengthen and sculpt their
pectoral muscles. The cable incline fly targets the upper chest, offering a
deep stretch and efficient contraction in every repetition. This train enhances pectoral muscle development and helps in achieving a well-defined
chest. The seated single arm cable row is
amongst the finest cable back workouts as a outcome of it’s unilateral where you
will work one side of your physique at a time.

Start with the pulleys set to about shoulder
height and stand in the middle. Plant your toes flat on the floor and pull the handles down in entrance
of you until your palms meet. Keep your elbows slightly bent and pull the
handles across your chest till they meet within the center.
Set your pulleys to the lowest position and place your train ball within the middle.

Multiple choices are available for cable chest exercises, so there’s positive to be something for
everybody. A great piece of equipment which will greatly range your exercise is
the cable machine. It’s ideal for many who want to increase
their chest energy and muscular development because it can be utilized for quite
a lot of compound and isolated exercises. With a little care to element and control, the cable machine would possibly turn out to be one of the most useful
pieces of kit for performing nice chest workouts.
Examine out this text on whether you presumably can prepare your chest
2 days in a row. A great method to blast the internal pec
major space when you don’t have entry to a flat bench.
These may be aggressive for the shoulders, even whereas lying on a bench.

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